i read wifey's blog.
i wont say, its emo, but yeah emotional enough to make me think.
(not to mention puke blood lol but thats an inside joke)

what are we fighting for.
when we fight to stand firm to what we believe in.
fight to achieve our ideals.
to get the life we want.
fight to do what pleases Him, though more than half the time we fall.

wifey wants to travel the world, self funded on missions, serve Him in her calling.

i want my patients to tell me the things my students did,
that it should be a difference, not just doing the job;
that there will be a change after.
for my job to be my mission field,
to make this life count.

wifey keeps telling me over and over again to lock my blog.
so i wouldnt need to speak in cryptic talk.
so i wouldnt have to fear getting judged by people who dont know who i am.

initially i got a friend to set up this blog for me,
so my good friends(who are ever so busy haha) would get a glimpse of whats happening in my life, so i wouldnt have to repeat everything over and over to different people when we meet- cos after all my good friends are supposed to understand the way i blog.
that was more than 2 years ago.
now, 2 years later, i'm older, more enriched, and maybe more damaged.

the blog has served its purpose well.
at least the people i care about and who care about me are able to see the way my life takes it course- my ups and downs, the time i fall so bad, yet how His grace always picks me up and changes things around. that ultimately, i'm just imperfect and wanting and trying to do what He wants me to do.
i appreciate each time you guys send a msg or an email after reading a blog post, to encourage and pray for me.
or when something i blog about is able to play a part in someone's growth, it makes a difference.

initially i told myself,
that the blog will never exhibit all of my feelings,
because i was, and still am a private person- that doesnt change and will never.
yet at times i find my feelings so raw in each entry,
from brokenness to elation.

i may or may not lock up my blog.
either way i wouldnt want my good friends to miss out on all the fun in my life esp when i am back in aussie, and i would want each and every one to know how much my God has strengthened me, changed my life, and poured out His blessing into my life.

saved by grace, not by the works of man, so that no one can boast.

imperfect, and a sinner, but made beautiful in His love.

i cant believe in 9 days i will be sitting in my currie room, with probably 7 boxes and what, 3 suitcases? to unpack.
and then i will start school(when everyone else is still holidaying)
start lectures, start labs, start drilling, start moulding etc etc etc.
there will be houseflies, it will be 40degrees and i will try not to melt in the heat.
i will have to boil water each day, do my laundry once a week, and survive on indomee for supper.

dont know whether to jump for joy or sit here and cry. lol.
i remember missing perth so much when i came back.
missed my sunset eyes, my meddents, my church.
now i'm so used to being spoonfed, and money seems to be easier to obtain back home HAHA.
i dont even bother to do ANTYHING back home, i think my laziness is overwhelming everything.

it will be another year there.
a long one in fact.
and i look forward most to the spiritual growth, for the fire to burn in me once again, and to grow in intimacy with Him.

i'll definitely blog more when i am there(not that i blog little here, but yeah)

i promise to grow more, and i will TRY not to skip any more lectures:)
haha.

thankyou my lovelies who have been reading this blog since day1,
who never judge me for what you read,
and for always believing in me.

HAHA this is probably one of the few times i'd bare my feelings in an entry and not bother to conceal anything but i just felt i needed an entry like that.

:)


my heart sings,
everything within me screams to burst out,
in praise and worship of Your holy name.
because all i wanna be,
all i wanna be is in Your arms forever Jesus.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.