i realise i actually spend alot of time doing pretty useless stuff.

i was looking through my old inbox that day, reading old emails, looking at funny jellypulp-y usernames.
wifey reminded me that words are cheap.
i should stop reading cheap words which will never be fulfilled in reality.

-

i was so tempted to pon ns anat lect today after the very depressing mgc test. but i didnt, because i'd already ponned too many things this week.
ended up sitting next to someone from class, who had that scent on.
oh, of cos i remember it. how could i not.
its the same scent, once so familiar, once so endearing.
i kind of twitched in my seat because its been a long time since i've smelt that scent on anyone.
but that person used a little too much, so it was kind of overwhelming me the entire lecture.
ah, well. the traces of the past.

-

bladders was in my room when a window popped up on my laptop.

me: who's it?

bladders: your girlfriend/wifey/whatever/cheryl.

me: oh. its prob an old msg. just leave it. i'll msg her later.

bladders: oh so what is she ah?

me: she's my wifey didnt you know? we're almost official. lol. which means, i might as well become les.

bladders: yay, then all the guys in the world will rejoice if you're les.

-

people look at me like i'm queer when they know wifey and i study together with our webcams on. in 2 different countries. lol.
WIFEY THIS IS DAMN FUNNY LAH LOL.

-

i'm trying to hang on.

-

hello, cynic.
(says it at the wanton mee stall)

well, hello stranger.
(says me in my life now)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

in 8 hours time i need to go for my mgc mid sems.

i'm going nuts here.
deciding whether i should continue lectopia-ing all the lectures i've missed, or to start reading notes i've never even read before.

WTH ITS IN 8 HOURS.
why am i in this freak shit messed up state again.

thats why i say its my song.
its my sick cycle carousel.

-

i cant study here in this ulu-fied place where i'm trapped in my room everyday. there isnt any life in the streets after 5, there isnt any cheap cabs.

I HATE THIS.
i friggin hate this.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

Lifehouse- Blind.

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
and still I have the pain I have to carry
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i got the mail.

if it makes you happy to know, i am affected.
heck, you dont even care anyway.

you species are weird lah.
really weird.

i'm happy with my wifey(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its 1.03am, i'm dead tired, a little sick, and out of sorts.
BUT I JUST TALKED TO MY WIFEY FOR AN HOUR PLUS and i feel so much better already.
really, darling, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU LAH.
we should just marry each other and heck guys(:

and i miss you already.
just after putting down the phone.

ah, study hard dearie we'll talk on the phone again after all my midsems.
in the meantime there's always email and msn(:
AND SKYPE! omg.

loveyou loveyou loveyou.
(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its a vicious cycle.

i've spent so much time thinking and brooding.
i have no mood to study.
i couldnt even sleep.
i skipped EVERYTHING today because i feel so darn messed up.
tell me who ever skips ns anat lab. NO ONE. LIKE SERIOUSLY NO ONE. i skipped it.
and i skipped it, to, GO SHOPPING.
hoping that shopping will make me feel better.
but i shopped the entire afternoon away and all i got was one handbag.
URGH.

i'm feeling sick, i'm hating this.

its what happens when you fight so hard for something totally not worth it.
i'm damn right tired, and i think i'm falling sick.
again.
crap.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i am getting more upset by the minute.

i cant even be bothered to do mgc notes anymore.

i'm just upset.
with the little things that matter.
with people who disappoint.
with my pathetic short and ugly hair.
with the fact that i need to shop.
with the fact that i may screw mgc again this time.
with people who care so much about popularity. sheesh, get a life.
with having to struggle so much.
with having to miss my girls who are all back home.
with having to choose what to commit to cos i have no time.
with not being able to fly home now to see mommy and daddy.
with having insufficient sleep.
with having ugly eyebags.
with not having to dress up for ages.

with everything.
i am upset with everything.

maybe its just pms.
grahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i'm sorry things turned out this way.
get your thoughts sorted out, i hope things will be fine okay.

-

its not fun, the more you care the more you are dissapointed.

-

all i wanna do is fly to melbourne now to shop.
either that or to lombok for sun, sand and sea.

-

i'm not happy.
not at all, man.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its either the army, or its the Y chromosome.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

WIFEY!
i miss you i havent talked to you in like, 3 days?!?!?!?!?!?
i know you miss me too you pok tok tok.
hurry make more time for me please.
please kick *ahem out so you can have more time for me please(:
GRIN.

-

pastor rick seaward was really good with his message.
something really struck me.

HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELEPHANT?
answer is, well, you eat it bite by bite.

and it answers my big question.

-

so i seek, and i listen, and i try to obey.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i'm dreaming of a holiday to melbourne to shop at the end of the year.
and if tickets are cheap enough, we may just go. we've been checking out the flights so many times and gg down to the travel agent so much that we dont bother to study. lol.

YAYNESS, if it works out, mommy and daddy are going to be here in less than a month. WOOTS(:
i miss my mommy and daddy.
i miss being pampered and loved.
i miss being mommy's darling and daddy's little girl.
(:

-

will someone please bring me for some long island and mojito?
just so i can dress up, please?

-

i hope, i seriously hope, that we can go for the REDPARTY.
then i can start shopping for a dress(:

-

WILL SPRING HURRY COME!
my polka dotted bikini wants to go to the beach.
pok pok tok.



i want spring. i want spring. i want spring.
i want spring. i want spring. i want spring.


-

i'm getting all excited at the wrong time.
there's mgc test. i've barely started.
and then there's opdent mid sems too.
i shouldnt be google-ing holidays and flight prices and pretty beaches.
i should be studying.

now i feel bad.
boo.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

bit by bit, i learn.

little by little, i grow.

-

break free wont you break free get up and dance in His love(:

-

still holding on to my white stone,
still seeking His word to me.

-

i choose to open if you knock.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

not fair,
not fair at all.

but then again, daddy reminds me,
nothing is fair.

-

somehow i question too much these days.
let me learn the lesson, let me learn it quick and fast,
let me get over and done with it.

-

nights are spent brooding over silly little things.
nights are spent thinking so much sleep eludes me.

days are spent trying to stay awake in class.
days are spent trying to tell myself what reality actually means.
days are spent thinking about what nights are also spent thinking about.

afternoons are when i finally fall asleep from exhaustion.

-

i question,
and then i regret.

i'm tired.

i want to sleep and dream of a pink dress floating in the clouds.
see you in lala land,
goodnight.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i cant believe the last time i blogged was on tue night. its thursday night now; well technically its friday morning.

-

yesterday was spent at the medlib in an attempt to mug out.
we ponned fob lab to go down hampden to stock out on motivation food.
came back with one packet of nasi lemak, one packet of teriyaki chicken rice, one tiamo mudpie, one tiamo cheesecake, one packet of chips, one brumby's doughnut, and one packet of pinklady apples(:
the walk back at 930pm was scary. dark and empty and scary.
the plan was that if anything happened, we'd drop our bags and run.
i was seriously scared lah.

-

then there was lab today.
we had to prick our fingers and draw blood out for Hb count, blah blah blah. it was freaky enough(not because i was afraid of blood or sharps or whatever but because i was afraid of it being DONE ON ME).
then comes the second part- we were to "make 3 quick, firm incisions in the forearm with a blood lancet" and record the time needed for the blood to clot. it was both sick and disturbing. we tried, but 3 jabs with the lancet into my arm was painful enough and we didnt continue with the 3 incisions.
okay, its not so much the pain, more so on how the idea is so warped.
i ended up with 3 tiny red spots on my forearm, thats all.
i see what is on the arms of the others, and i freak out.
i'm sorry, but its just wrong though its a lab exercise. isnt there any other way to measure the clotting of blood? or some other location?
its eerie to me, it really is.

-

the difference between this sem and last is that now i can no longer bank on jc bio to pull through. everything is like its from scratch.
which means i have crazy alot to do.
blah.

-

i refuse.
i simply refuse.
though i kind of want to.
BUT I REFUSE.
i wont give in,
not this time.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

so i fell asleep for another 3 hours.

woke up, and by chance read your blog.
came across things.


i'm moving past being damn right disappointed in you.
done with being annoyed at your apathy and the frivolity by which you treat this whole thing.
i'm starting to,
hate this.

i dont want to end up missing this so much that when its gone,
bitterness comes in.
i dont want to end up hating you.
at the rate this is going,
i will.

girlygirlygirly girlfriends dont do this to each other.
i dont know why you're being downright shitty.

i'm losing a friendship, to the silliest reason ever.






fine if you want to be like that.
just because i am in aussie and you are back home, doesnt make it any easier.

shit you.



for the first time in my life, i am doubting alot of stuff.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

so i am exhausted.

today's the first attempt we made to study for opdent and mgc tests at the medlib. of cos, as usual erica and i ended up talking and talking but at least i read like 2 sets of notes(which is damn pathetic i know, but ITS A START).
i realised when you havent properly studied since alevels, you kind of forget how to.

opdent lab was, disappointing.
i ended up being so damn affected and so damn upset. blah.

clinic was great.
we did plaque disclosing on each other.
i finally got to be at the other end of the chair, wear the mask and gloves, use the triple syringe, saliva ejector, and all. but it'd be like year3 before we actually get to drill inside a real person i think.
we ended up with bright pink teeth. ah, so fun.

-

its been a time of self discovery, i would say.

i've learnt that apathy is a dirty word.
dont go all apathetic on me. i dont like it.

some, who were never expected to disappoint, actually did.
pretty badly too.
i did all i could to save it, though i'm miles across the ocean.
i've said it before, will say it again.
i'll only go to such lengths for people who matter.
i've fought hard enough to salvage this.
obviously on your part you cant be bothered.
you and the little excuses you give?
obviously shows you're confused and afraid,
for the silliest reason ever, which i can never understand.

you know how its like in primary school, when you have one of those petty misunderstandings, and the other party goes and tells other people about the little fight. and things become blown up because of all the small talk about it?
i remember how our friendship was lost partly due to the fact i didnt like how you handled things. it wasnt in primary school anymore, but i remember how little petty arguments always got blown up either because you told like all your other friends, or because you couldnt settle it with us.
i can truly say i regret losing that friendship.
we were close then, very close.
but maybe too different.
and at that time, i certainly didnt like the way you operated.
suddenly i remember you, i remember us.
and i know how different things would be now if you didnt keep wanting to be the popular girl or tried to tell everyone about being unhappy with us in the little ways.
its the things in life, you have to learn to know what to do at the right time.
you know, we would be bestfriends now if all the little things didnt break us. i miss you, and i wish you well.

-

when there's so much drama going on, you take a step back.
because i cant be bothered in being involved in all those politics.
i dont need to be at the center of attraction.
i'm happier with the people who matter, who will always be there.
no justification needed.

-

days are spent sleeping whenever i get back from class,
nights are spent emailing.

seeking and holding on tightly to my white stone,
to what matters the most and to Whose favour i want to seek.
the One who sits on the throne of my heart,
the One who is the Shepherd of my soul.

like Fire refines glass.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

Casting Crowns- Does anybody hear her?

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
We've never even met her

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

wifey when you come online and see this hurry msg me.
i NEED to talk to you.

-

dinner was damn good.
roast chicken and cob corn and wedges.
good food somehow makes you feel a little better, but nothing can beat shopping though.

i cant explain it.
its gripping yet liberating.
so much so i cant focus, so much so i end up watching episode after episode of house; wasting my time away in front of the lappy and not doing work.

as of today i've been in perth for a month after the winter break.
time flies because i havent been counting.
yet i feel as though i've been here for much longer because so much happen everyday.

one year ago i wouldnt imagine myself here in my currie room, and walking to school everyday and actually doing everything i am now.
one year ago this time i was just starting school in nus.
i've heard from a friend that the guy who topped this year's isat got offerred a place in dent without even having to go through the interview.
looks like they're gonna be more singaporeans in dent next year.

i cant believe how fast time has passed.
its been 7 months or so since.
i realised the uselessness of saying how badly things hurt.
because when apathy is all there is on the other side, nothing changes that.

its as good as asking a stone to talk to you.
well, at least the stone cant walk away.
for that very fact,
its better.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

with-neverending hair-and-big-tote look.

and i feel really horrible.

i've decided, i'm never gonna cut my hair this short again while i'm still in dental school. at least not so short i cant tie it.

NEVER.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i skipped all my morning classes to sleep in.
my throat was really killing me. so all i had for lunch was 2 spoonfuls of cottage pie, lettuce, and watermelon.

-

i'm terribly annoyed by the frivolity in which you treat this friendship.

-

i need to undergo retail therapy to make myself feel better.

-

i'm officially the most pok person around with no general knowledge whatsoever.
i bet all the meds can vouch for that(:
and i wonder why bladders keeps wondering how i ever got into dent. lol.

-

weekend's here.
its worst than ever.
weekends remind me.
weekends bring back bad memories.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

erica commented on how i dont look as miserable as i'm supposed to look today.
which, i guess is a good thing.
(:

my dear wifey thanks for listening to me in between gasps and sobs and whines.
i'm sorry you kinda wasted all yr phone calls, sms-es, emails and what not cos i'm such a bummer now.

mgc lab today was horrid.
its what i mean by, affected and cannot function. which contrasts your "affected but not unable to function".
doesnt help that today's one of the worse days with 2 labs in a day. i'm so glad i had erica in ns physio lab. we were just nua-ing and we took 2 hours to do one pathetic exercise because we were fooling around. she decided i'm a freak of nature (lol) because my ECG totally had no QRS complex or P or T wave. it was just one whole scribbly mess.
we tried over and over again. hers was beautiful but mine was horrid. lol.
we played around with the sthethoscope, tried to act pro, and then gave up and left.

so we make plans to make ourselves happier.
we plan to go on exchange in honolulu(just for the sun and sand).
and we come up with big plans to do big things(as usual) knowing they will never work out.
ah, but a girl can dream cant she(:
dreaming makes the world seem like a better place.

my eyes feel really tired after yesterday.
i've decided i'd rather go on a holiday during the sept break.
now all i have to do is wait for the budget fares to drop drop and drop.

my polka dotted bikini is calling out to me.
HAHA.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i never thought i had the ability to read, cry, sleep, cry, read, cry, bathe, cry, talk, cry, read, cry and cry cry cry cry.









till today.
doesnt help i'm sick.
its kinda hilarious though. lol.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

losing it.

-

i wonder if 'subtle insinuation', as claimed, let you see through the previous ones.
'initial euphoria' is a dirty word to me.

my logical mind agrees with everything done.
just not with the way it was carried out.
okay, so thats been apologised for numerous times.
and i can say, i've forgiven. not for you, but for myself.

to read through something so neutral, so without any form of hate or burden, i know the stand you now carry. in a way i'm glad, in a way i fear, in a way i struggle.

sometimes i dont know how to put it. the lack of spite anywhere doesnt mean the change in heart. you get what i mean.

to hear about having your life back. is something that grips yet liberates.
i guess thats when i see your picture on the wall has finally snapped.
thread's broken, passion for art has faded.
something when i so strongly rallied for to ask, something which i now finally see.

people ask whats my stand.
i say, wrong timing, wrong maturity, no growth.
it all adds up.
yet it doesnt mean wrong picture on the wall.

the biggest thing that was mentioned that still struggles.
of cos, like said in it, spilt milk cannot be recovered.
i forgive, at least i try to.
i hope though, what we shared is something you'll always hold close to, as i do.

the analogy, though horribly cruel, was apt.
i admit, i did many selfish things, thinking they were for the best.
i've seen, learnt, and been moulded into a new mindset.
i'm sorry i couldn't be perfect.

somehow no mention was made of cherishing the memory.
maybe then, i shall say here: i would, even if no one else does.

my life has been a rollercoaster, a walk with my Abba, a quiet struggle on its own.
the bittersweet feeling to find out about having "qualities of a dentist" makes me wonder whether i really want it now that i have it. well, of cos the passion hasnt been lost; but to trade what is before and after, i ask myself if it will be more worth it.

today at lecture i learnt about the composition of blood.
and it made me think of the bio poem written amidst the exams. the corny one that got my laughing and cheered up.
it will, always be a part of my life. because i've learnt so much.
and hopefully, one day i'm able to fall all over in love again.

i want to see the same picture reinstated on the wall one day.
with a different thread holding the picture to the wall.
one thats Eternal, one that holds, one that it was built on.

still the same, still as blur as ever,
still as pok, still as whiny.
still in love with my political party(the one you could never understand) and i cheered when my political party leader came on screen that day. lol.
still trying to look more pro(and less bimbotic) since i've to work towards cultivating a professional image for my future career; hence the haircut. that kind of failed(which you probably think so too).
still flabby and unfit, still in love with chem,
still the sentimental shithead, but learning to romance my Abba.




no hard feelings, all the best, all my love.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

justified,
over and done,
haggled and fought,
never again.

because i gave, i still would.
you just needed to see.
everything i saw.

i agree, that now is not the time. that doesnt mean it'd never be.

love how it all started,
over me,
visions we both saw,
encountered, clinged to.

you've moved on.
out of my bubble,
under my hands, out of reach.

extinguished, terminated, period.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i'm dreaming of going to a really beautiful beach to get a tan.
and i still want my own transformer car, i want a bumblebee.

i want to fly home, go shopping with wifey and watch grey's and house together.

i want to sleep in everyday and wake up to have mommy ask me what i want for brunch.

i want to be able to cab around anytime, for movies, shopping, and girltalks.

i want to have a sleepover with my girlies again.

i want to be able to wear shorts and a tee to school everyday.

i want more shoes, dresses and sunnies.

-

i'm so hungry now i'm tempted to eat the redrock my lovely abi bought for me.
but then i remember i will have to brush my teeth again.
i'm too lazy to brush it.
so i'll just starve. lol.

i need to stop being so blur.
i need to actually remember when i have to hand in stuff, and stop messing things up.

-

because we're a short sighted people.
because we cant see the grand plan.
thanks wifey, i miss you.
cant wait for our next call(:

-

hungry for more of You.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i jump for joy because the exchange rate has dropped to 1.286(if i didnt remember wrongly).

which means, maybe we really boosted our economy when we all went back in june. lol.

ohwell, which also means, i should go out shopping more before the exchange rate rises again.

lol.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its not about what is said,
its about what the heart says.
its between me and Him.

i know i've accounted to Him.

-

its been an emotional rollercoaster.
politics get really ugly.
never bothered about it.

though, i'm glad i have mature objective people.
who never jump into conclusions, and who are detached enough for sound judgement.
learnt the lesson, learnt to love.

-

opdent was absolutely horrendous.
especially only after 5 hours of sleep and having to drill for 3 straight hours and then failing terribly miserably.
just one cavity prep and my very first one at that.
its really, not a good feeling at all.

this morning was the coldest morning i've had in a long time.
we actually breathed smoke.

i kind of skipped dinner. again.

-

wifey dearie i hope your first day at school went well.
i know i'm supposed to call you today but, too many things.
i'll tell you again ok. loveyou long long(:

-

i'm tired and tired and tired. i need rest.

-

i'm terribly sorry mommy for what happened.
i know i cant ever make it up,
but i promise i wont do it again.

-

i cant believe i'd lose a friendship i thought meant so damn alot to me.
but i did.
and it sucks.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

and then i've come to realise.

there are some people who you think will never disappoint,
they're the ones who cut the deepest.










i guess, i can finally now say,
goodbye.

no turning back. no second chances.

-

for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i hate this.

the subtleties, do you know how much they're killing me.
you and you and you.

sheesh.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

not because of who i am,
but because of what You've done.
not because of what i've done,
but because of who You are.

-

i'm sorry for whatever happened.
i'm sorry it wasnt glorifying.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

grapeskin bar had the most potent ever long island it was just as good as poison.
but it was terribly good(:
not to mention, we ended up drinking uncle daniel's share too because he had to drive.
the mojito was damn strong too, ah.

after being kept awake from 3am to 7am last night and finding myself in bed with makeup still on, and then having to cleanse off my makeup with a throbbing headache and nauseous stomach, i promised myself i wouldnt drink so much again.
at least not when i skipped dinner.

i'm sorry to everyone who had to put up with the noise gf and i made.
and whoever had to see us in our unglam state.
and whoever's umbrella gf sat on- lol its time to get a new one(: HAHA.

thanks to everyone who cared.
(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

smth is wrong with blogger. i cant type and post my pictures.
so i'll just have to explain the pictures in the prev post here.

it was AWESOME at the tav.
i finally got to catch up with gf, considering we havent really talked much about anything in ages, partially cos we're too busy with the stuff happening in our lives.
the tav was pretty crowded, except that the ndp screening wasnt actually live, it was the preview:(
anyhow, atmosphere was good, company was good, though there wasnt any long island:( lol. so we had to settle for tiger beer.
i've never felt this patriotic, never longed so much to be at home watching the ndp, never missed my country so much.
when we all stood up to sing the national anthem, waved our tiny flags, all i wanted to be was back on my tiny little sunny island.

and then we headed down to baskins for ice cream. ben was nice enough to take us. i cant believe i am eating ice cream in winter(: strawberry cheesecake and peanut butter chocolate(:

for the people around me who love me, thank you so much.
because i count my blessings everyday and i thank God for you guys.

to the people i've once cared so much about and then lost,
i thank God for you too.
because you make me grow.

-

its a candy coated frown, baby.

-

i think, i've lost that sparkle.

-

do you know its something i grapple with everyday.

-

i want, a big hug.
right now.
where you, Daddy?

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

because its national day, we go in national colours.

except that i bumped into abi outside fcp class, and laughed my head off.

abi: pet dear! did you see bladders? you HAVE to see him.
me: where? where?

so i got dragged into the fcp building and there i see this weirdo in full-out red and white and totally like a country bumpkin tourist hailing from cheena land.
I LAUGHED ALL THE WAY BACK TO CURRIE.

but, at least he was proud enough of his country to wear smth SO OFF. lol.
i'll give him credit for it.
GOOD JOB BLADDERS!

its the tav tonight for some national day celebration(:
AH, i've never felt this patriotic in my life.
national pride in a foreign land, man.
I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY TO BE IN RED AND WHITE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i realise i dont know what to think about alot of people anymore.

its national day.
i've never really bothered about ndp. even when i go for it, i pretty much just go for the sake of going. when we performed in sec2, it was more of the fun you have with your friends and the memory of going through it together.
now i'm here, and i realise how badly i want to be home watching the ndp.
so much so i may actually go for the live screening tmr with the others.

its been a complicated day. i've been through enough to last me for the week. seen enough happen to the people i care about.



i want out.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i really didnt wanna lose it, and i still dont.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

other than the fact that its a guy shirt and too big, i love it(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

my day was one whole big mess.

i actually got up in time today and didnt have to rush.
so being the good girl i am, i decided to go for mgc lect.
then i realised i didnt print notes, so gertrude and i did silly stuff the entire lect. and then erica and i had to rush to ohcwa for lect but we walked the wrong way(2nd sem already, beat that man) so we had to turn back. THEN i realised i was supposed to include the frequency of cariogenic foods and portions analysis in our assignment(which i totally didnt know before because i didnt see the lecture) so we detoured back to currie and i had to run up to grab my laptop and thumbdrive and then we had to rush to ohcwa.

where we were late. for lecture.
pathetic as i am i realised i didnt print my ns notes(again) and we had two consecutive ns lectures today so basically i kind of stoned and tried to add stuff into my assignment.
then i rushed to the meddent lib to print my assignment. then we rushed to chilliz for lunch. where it was so crowded cos it was peak hour. just out of ohcwa i decided i wanted to pee so i ran back. LOL.
brumby's for erica's yummy cupcake, then faculty office to submit the assignment. then we went for fcd lect.
halfway through fcd i realised i left my thumdrive in the meddent lib on the com. so i started panicking like crazy. then i rushed there but it was gone. i panicked again. then i finally realised chaturi saw it and kept it for me.

it was one adrenaline rush after another.
now everything's faded off, i'm really tired.

i should stop being so blur. then maybe i'd actually remember to print notes or do my assignment with forgetting anything.
then i wouldnt need to stress and panic:(
and people like wifey wouldn't laugh at me.
but then again i'm probably the only one who almost missed my flight and found out only the night before.
and yes wifey, i know you are laughing.
STOP LAUGHING ALREADY LA. i'm pok as it is lol.

i was supposed to walk from octagon to ohcwa. and i walked in the opposite direction to guild. LOL, beat that man.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

dreaming about providence
and whether mice or men have second tries,
maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open,
maybe we're bent and broken, broken.

-

there was a baby cockroach that came in through the window.
freaked me out so i ran to the pantry where bladders was.

me: bladders!!! there is a cockroach in my room!
bladders: so???

and so gertrude caught it for me. there was this whole hoo-haa cos bladders being as annoying as he usually is just stood outside my door and laughed at me. i had to physically push him out, tug at his shirt, use whatever is left of my skinny body to push him out of my room cos that idiot was going on and on about how cockroaches love to eat the hair and fingernails of girls.
of cos that pig is too big for me to push so i ended up bumping into everything around me.
of cos, gertrude saved the day. what would i do without her(:

-

i've been thinking.
there isnt really any reason why things are like that.
they just are.
surprisingly i'm not that affected.
because deep down inside i kind of knew we'd only be close friends for that period of time; i kind of knew you wouldn't always be there.
i do miss the endless phone calls, but if things are going to be like that, then i guess no more phone calls anymore.
anyhow, i'll always treasure the times when i could tell you just about anything and all. of cos, for being there when i struggled so much, you're really such a blessing from Him(: take care friend, and i guess in a way, goodbye.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i am in a slightly better mood because of a few things.

1)my wifey totally rocks! DARLINGGGGGGGGGGG! omg where else can i find someone who writes me such sweet emails that make my day and who sings endless songs for me in recordings.
2)i've FINALLY completed my ns physio lab(its seriously the most BORING lab i've ever done) though i handed it in late.
3)ns anat lab today was actually really interesting and i actually paid attention(:
4)i ate a pretty red apple.
5)i actually didnt pon ns anat lect today though i only had 4 hours of sleep(:
6)my wore my new red shoes today though they gave me blisters which burst and bled but i didnt feel it because it was so freezing cold. i still like my shoes(:
7)i'm stretched, ready to be soaked and then drenched(: (: (:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

skype actually worked.
what would i do without you wifey(: (: (:

so there, i spent one hour talking to wifey on skype
and it totally made me feel SO MUCH BETTER(:
not to mention my dear girl recorded another song on the spot for me HAHA(:
oh man, and it sounded totally lesbo, but who cares.

love you dearie i cant wait till we next skype(:

-

its cadaver lab again tomorrow.
i'm 3 weeks behind school.
i still have no mood for anything.

-

i'm craving for chilliz honey chicken rice with damn alot of chilli though i just had it this afternoon.

-

i need to sleep. i seriously need to sleep it off and sleep it away.

-

i miss you mei. i havent talked to you in a long while. your beloved zeh is in one of her sulk-and-whine-and-feel-horrible moods. lol. like totally, you need to be here to mother her lah. missyouuuuuuuuuuu little silly girl(:

-

my eyes hurt. they are tired. i need to sleep.

-

gertrude just gave me a nice red apple. red apples are good for your teeth(: they contain polyphenols which reduce the risk of dental caries(:

-

i miss my wifey already.

-

i feel like sleeping.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

my dear wifey i was dead tired when i read your email.
and it made me cry so hard.
i'm feeling terrible dear, and so much has happened since i last spoke to you.

my week is so packed, things have been happening.
all i wanna do is to shut myself in my room and sleep the entire day away.

it was all those crying, that made me fall asleep on my bed till girlfriend came knocking with my yummylicious macdonalds shirt. thanks for buying it for me dear(:



i will come out stronger, i promise.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

my heaviest day of the week is officially over.

i feel a sense of relief, yet i'm so terribly tired i could just drop on the floor and sleep for 24 hours.

my alarm rang for 25 min before i heard it this morning and so i had to rush like mad to the bus stop. i was still late so we missed the bus:( erica was nice enough to make me a bacon and egg sandwich which was really good and made up for standing in the cold cold wind all wet. i was all wet because i ran in the rain and wind(crazy strong wing that was really blowing me away la; didnt help that i walked in the opposite direction of it).

and then we missed half of lecture:( argh. lab was as usual, except that we used the high speed drill today and i got water and oil spray all over my face because i was too lazy to wear a mask and besides, there really isnt any infection to be worried about when you're drilling on fake teeth.

CHILLIZ again for lunch(it totally makes my day) and then erica and i decided to go to dome for dessert(: the chocolate mousse cake was good(: but we had to gobble it down so that we wouldn't be late for fob.
it was fob, clinic, and then we stopped by jesters for the classic morning glory pie on the way back.
omg i really ate alot today.

and after 8am to 5pm, i feel horridly horribly tired.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life- in order that i may boast on the day of Christ that i did not run or labour for nothing.
phil2:15,16

dont start with your love for Him, but start with His love for you.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

so Daddy, hold my hand, because i dont ever wanna get lost.
i dont ever wanna have my torch snuffed out in darkness.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

FCD assignment is due this week. ther'e mgc quiz, clinicals blah blah blah.
i cant believe this.

i'm supposed to be doing a dietary analysis on how diet affects your oral health.
here i am eating a big packet of redrock(i had to coerce bladders to part with it and he decided to be nice enough to leave it at my door lol) and the ironic thing is i'm writing about how the sugars are going to increase the risk of dental caries lol.

lol. those are things for the dentists to tell their patients(:

blogger is annoying. i blogged one whole lot yesterday and it was gone. just like that. all because of some error.
someone help me fix it please:(

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i dragged myself out of bed this morning all because of a bacon and egg sandwich erica promised to make me if i go for mgc.
turns out that girl didnt make it because stcats didnt have bacon and egg this morning. well, at least currie had chicken porridge for brekky which totally made waking up worth it(:

there was this fantabulously nice mushroom soup during lunch(you know the one with the little bits of mushroom all over the soup? kind of like the old sizzler's mushroom soup and looks abit like phin'ssteakhouse's field mushroom soup) but because i was so full i decided to eat it again when they serve it at dinner. so i was dreaming about having mushroom soup during ns lecture, when i came back and watched house, when i fell asleep, and when i woke up.
BUT THEY DECIDED NOT TO SERVE IT AT DINNER. boy was i upset.
so i sat at dinner and whined and whined and sulked. lol.

hello do they have any idea how much i was looking forward to the mushroom soup?!?!?!?!?!
:(

i'm putting on so much blubber its disgusting.
and no one believes the amount of blubber i put on because everyone assumes skinny people have no fat.
yeahhhh right.

its actually the skinny ple who are flabby. because they think they are so skinny they cant be bothered to exercise, thus the jiggly bits. eew.

i just ate 3 peanut butter sandwiches. its very satisfying.

i dont feel like going for balls anymore:( ohwell.

-
its not the big things. it never was, never is.
its the subtleties people do. they're the ones that kill.
-
and guess what?
i ate chilliz for the 3rd time this week.
if i dont start getting sick of eating chilliz, i'm going to be broke soon. blah.

it still sucks. because i lost my camera. i hate not being to take pictures wherever i go. bleah.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

you wont believe this.

i'm seriously getting really upset about my hair.

its so yucky it makes me depressed just to look into the mirror.
its so short. its so eew. its so short and eew.
doesnt help that i have a bad hair day like everyday and i cant just scrunch it into a bun and run off for classes. i have to live with yucky hair everyday. i look like a freaking nerd.

but of cos, everyone says i look so much more intellectual this way. which, i suppose, is a new change from the bimbotic impression people get. but, looking nerdy isnt exactly the way to go.

makes it worse to know all the balls are this sem.
someone tell me how do you curl hair this short.
those who know me know how much i love long curly hair. but i'm certainly not gonna get it anytime soon. bleah.

short hair is gross.
short hair makes me look like a boy.
i dont like.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i've effectively skipped every first lecture of each day the entire week. its only thur, so i've skipped every first lecture mon-thur.
my day thus only starts from the second lecture on.
i feel bad, having already missed one opdent lecture, one ns lecture and two mgc lectures this week.

thus, my dear erica decided to stop me from pon-ing the first lecture of tmr (mgc) by offering to make me a bacon and egg sandwich for brekky if i go to lect. and if i skip it, the bacon and egg sandwich will go to bladders. lol. so for the very sake of my lovely bacon sandwich not ending up in bladders stomach, i will drag myself out of bed, brush my teeth in the cold, and brave the rain and wind to go for mgc.
ah, talk about sacrifices. lol.

was annoyed with some people but then wifey, my ever so sweet cheryl decided to cheer me up by recording a song she sang and played for me. AH I'M SO DAMN TOUCHED. my wifey rocks too, dearie!

4 balls coming up. i'm gonna be broke if i go for all 4. currie ball, med ball, church ball, dental dinner. i shall go for only 2 max.

next week's crazy packed. fcd assignment due. clinicals start next week. church ball's next week. sma dinner is next week(still deciding if i should go). there's also bsf, tut with joo, floor meeting, blah blah blah.

my eyebags are so bad, i dont wanna dress up for ball:(
besides, my hair is gross.
eeew.
yuck.
eew.
yuck.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i dont like the way i'm affected by you.
not a teeny weeny bit. not even at all.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.