♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i dont know anymore.
i really dont know.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its been tough, it really has. i dont wanna go into details here, but thank you girls for all the strength you've given me. just sitting in silence here by my side, cuddling and healing those wounds, endless prayers and love.
i see the hurt each of you go through too, and it affects me because i dont think any of you deserve such pain. as cliche as it sounds, it WILL all work out. i dont know when and how, but He will carry us through okay.
know that my love is always with you, though we'll all go back to our countries to study, i will always pray for you girls(:

i know, i just need more time. cant afford it now; not at this time, not anywhere near. cannot, pet. cannot.

its a battle i will fight, because i have to, because i cant let anyone down, because i've got my God to honour and glorify.

hard as it is.

i thought about about the apologies.
since its wrong, and there is a need to apologise, why not make up for it instead. i'm not saying or suggesting anything, i just wonder why sometimes things arent done to rectify the wrong instead of just apologies. it doesnt mean its messed up for good. it just means another chance, doesnt it?
okay, maybe not another perfect chance. but still a slim chance at that. right?

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

so take me to the place,
where i can see You face to face
all i wanna do, all i wanna do,
is to worship You.

and i've found myself in You,
and i've found myself in You.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i've been thinking really hard about it- why am i suddenly 4kg heavier? 2 people have commented on how i've put on weight. i mean, its not a bad thing, considering how hard i've been trying to put on weight the past few months. its just that, I CANNOT hit the big 5-0! grah grah grah.

i was searching for which pair of flipflops to wear this afternoon and suddenly i realise i have so many pairs of flats and flipflops i totally forgot about. where did all those shoes appear from? how come i never knew i have so many pairs of balletpumps/flipflops/flats/kitten heels?
so i've told myself that i cant buy anymore shoes until i throw some out(:

went for my dental this afternoon and it was really cool talking to dr. chew and finding out that some of her lecturers are mine now, 20 years on. okay maybe not so long, but long enough for her to be my dentist and so much older at that. i was telling her how much i struggled with my waxed crown and the dtech lectures and all. ah, it was really funny(: then i went over to tell uncle joe how my first sem as a dent student went and we had a good laugh over all the funny parts(: because i wont be coming back till the end of the year dr. chew decided to give me a thicker wire to last the months and now my teeth hurt:( braces will still be in for another 6 months or so.

i'm gonna bathe hydrospa then its off to hannah dearie's for SLEEPOVER(: before fifi flies off:( ah.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its true.

how words dont count for anything.
its not important how sweet it sounds, how touching it is.
words dont always translate into actions.
and isnt it all about actions and actions and actions.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

the afternoon was spent talking non stop with wifey.
darling! i thank God that we're able to go through all these together and we can pray and support each other. i seriously dont know what to do if you weren't there for me last night and this afternoon.
thank you girlie. please smile and take care okay! you're a winner to me; there isnt even any contest between you both because, simply put, she's no where near your level. and she never will be.
your pretty drawing rocks HAHA i will paste it up on my room in aussie. please smile when you see my drawing okay dearie.
no more tears, no more hurt.
LITTLEMISSGIGGLES loves LITTLEMISSLATE(:
i'm so glad we have each other darling!

and so, we realised, that
words dont count for anything.
they never did, and never will.
words are flowery and words make you feel good.
but they still dont count for anything.
period.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i didnt think i'd have this headache and all, considering i didnt drink alot:( boo.

-

anw, wifey it upsets me to see you so upset and broken.
no more crying no more tears okay. we WILL meet to talk soon and you can cry when i'm there to give you a BIGHUG(:
and remember no matter what i love you and jesus does too(:
and shit the stupid c.e.
SHIT THEM.
smile lovely(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

dearies, (both in singapore and aussie)okay! time for updates since i came back.

1) i've been eating alot of chinese food lately and the only ang-moh food i've eaten since coming back is macs(only for the chilli sauce).
2) i havent managed to tan AT ALL, which is annoying me quite abit.
3) i may end up tuitioning again this 3 weeks.
4) i've officially put on 4kg from the day i first left for aussie.
5) i havent got to watch a single movie since coming back.
6) i havent gone for my haircut. YET. there's still a small part of me who's too cowardly to make that drastic change.
7) i have been reading alot of trashy fashion magazines that is doing no good to my already tiny little brain.
8) i think i lost my pink ic somewhere out there in aussieland and i have no guts to tell daddy because he will go "i told you not to bring it over"
9) i have a feeling bladders forgot to help me keep my kettle so my kettle should have been thrown away by the cleaner by now.
10) attempted to drive that day(the very first time since coming back and like the 3rd time since passing) and attempted to park(for the very first time since passing) but made a stupid fool out of myself. lol.
11) still upset and chopping furiously with wifey to make ourselves feel better.
12) missing abi dearie terribly and missing girlfriend terribly. if i'm not wrong its 13 days till you come home right! YAY.
13) watched the entire season 8 of ANTM(i still think season 6 beats every season hands down)
14) will embark on house soon and grey's with wifey.
15) still damn sleep deprived. BOO.
16) all i've shopped so far are 3 tops and 4 books( wheeler's, phillip's, moore, and sturdevant's). HAHA.

sigh. and this part in me wants to go back to aussie so badly.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

today i discovered someone out there betrayed my trust and divulged something he/she shouldn't have.
i can count the number of people who know it and name each one of them.
someone leaked it.

-

anw the day was meant to be spent tanning my butt off.
BUT IT RAINED.
imagine my fury- i come back from winter aussieland for loads of sun and when i'm back, it rains. argh.
we ended up lying on cow's bed talking about everything.
thank you hannah dearie, for being my strength and just supporting me so much. for all that comfort and love. its nice to be able to just lie there, stare at the ceiling, cry and talk. not having to worry that we're both flying off this weekend or whatever.
lunch and dinner was affordable asian food; since we both are going back to ang-moh countries after this break. i will so miss you dearie:(

i went to nus coop again and finally bought sturdevant's and moore. they were both huge heavy books so i had to lug them all around. hannah dearie was nice enough to carry sturdevant's for me so both of us were lugging them all around. lol.

abi dearie is backbackback! i'm happy(:(:(:
fifi is flying off this sunday! boo:(

DARLING I READ YR BLOG AND I SAW MY PENGUIN!
and i miss you too! i miss being hugged and squashed in big hugs:(
YAYNESS thanks dear that photo made me smile(:

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

will everyone please stop asking me about it after i've told them i dont wanna talk about it.

its not easy okay. to come home and face everything like that.
all over again.
damnit.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i'm missing alot of people.
from the past and the present.

and its making me emo.
wifey we have to meet up soon.
we have to cry together! (omg that sounds so weird)
and abi dearie is coming home today! yay:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its 2.36am and i just got back.

like finally, the 6 of us get to meet.
its funny to see how much we've all changed from the sec1 days. we're still as noisy as ever though, and attract attention everywhere we go because we're the loudest table around.

cow was late as usual for dinner. ah, xiaolongpao. i like:)

then we walked all around trying to get a cab to clarke quay. every other place was full, so we ended up walking all the way to boat quay because fifi and hannah wanted to go to jazz.

i miss them all so much. its funny when you see the people who understands you the most, you end up pouring out everything you've wanted to say these months. it gets you all upset and tears down that happy exterior you put up. the long walk around boat quay and then outside fullerton gave us so much time to talk about everything.
it scares me how much each one of them has been scarred by the world; scares me how the most innocent of peoples actually do see what a cruel world this is. maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the company; i ended up going back into alot of stuff i was unwilling to talk about the entire night.

i wish we had so much more time. i wish we could grow side by side. but we grow up and our paths diverge more and more. i know you'll always be my bestgirl but there's so much i wish we could sit down and talk about- to explain to you, to hear about it, to grow up like we once did.

i'm glad we're meeting again soon.
i love you all.
cow, thanks for always being the bestfriend though i wish i could grow everyday with you like we once did.
hannah, thanks for always quietly supporting me, praying for me, encouraging me and edifying me.
i wish i didnt have to part with you guys in 3 weeks time. i wish it was sec 4 all over again- where we were innocent, carefree, loud, childish and sickly sentimental and romantic. everyone thought we were too idealistic then, but we were all very happy.


yes, we were.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i need to figure out how to activate the bluetooth thingy on my lappy, then it'd be much easier to just bluetooth all the photos off my phone.

this morning i woke up early just to cook meegoreng for mommy(i insisted she try the meegoreng we eat in aussie) haha and she actually said it was not bad.

off to nus to buy books with erica and attempt preparing for our supp paper. we ended up looking through her year book and checking out people. i read abit of phillips, but that was it:( we discovered that meddent lib is under renovation; how sad is that. lol.

i met hannah dearie for dinner! woots.
she was late so i walked around and ended up walking around then buying this top i liked. goodness, i should stop buying stuff.
we talked alot about everything- studying overseas, missing chinese food, growing in Him, and being stronger.
we've not met for a year, and we probably wont for another yr when we both go back to our respective countries after this break. but its the kind of friendship you know will last forever. best friends are not best friends for nothing(:

i actually am gonna see cow and fifi and con and just and everyone else tmr. omg this is like the first complete 101006 outing in 2 years? ah.

wifey! i did what you suggested- the sign. but guess what? negative response. blah, just as i expected i guess:(
IMISSYOU wifey! i cant wait for when we meet!

-

you know, i've been praying so hard about it; if He says go, i will.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its raining outside now, the air's all humid and sticky, and i'm tired from the huge packet of qiji nasi lemak and bubble tea.

slept in today and got up to get lunch and pop by the mango sale which wifey said started today.

its nice to be home. you know its home when you can wake up at any time and still have breakfast. when you can throw your shopping bags around and not care. when you are hungry and mommy offers to make your favourite luncheon meat sanwiches. when you get to eat fruit at any time of the day, and do not need to rush to the fruit basket to get a nice apple before they're all gone. when everyone in it loves you to bits.

i've been reading issues of urban i've missed out on, and unpacking my bags, and my shopping.

I'M MISSING YOU ABI AND GIRLFRIEND AND GERTRUDE!
girlfriend! you're probably sleeping now haha i thought of you at the mango sale and i wish you were here to shop with me! but i had good self control though, i only got 2 tops:) i bet its freezing now please on your heater and not fall sick:)
abiiiiiiiii!!!!! i miss you! you're coming home in 3 days time:) yayness.
gertrude! please do your detox thing. you HAVE to come okay. i need to bring you around to eateateateat all the food we've been gushing about for so long. and i miss laughing with you about bladders!

ah crap. i miss you all so much. at 1230 this afternoon i was wondering what you guys were having at currie for lunch. in one and a half hours you guys will be having dinner. stupid bladders didnt give me heroes as promised. grah now i have no heroes to watch:(

my darlings in aussieland!
COME BACK NOW!
i miss you all like crazy:(

pet sends tomatoes, cucumbers, chillis and love to girlfriend.
pet sends big hugs, corn, mutton and love to abi.
pet sends salad, watermelon, vitamin c, and love to gertrude.
pet sends dresses, skirts and skimpy tops to bladders.
LOL.

ah i cant wait for cafe del mar with my nedlands girls.(hopefully it works out) smile.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

it feels kind of weird to finally be in my room, at my desk, and looking at everything around. my room's pretty much the same; much neater cos most of my mess is now created in my currie room, but memories are still everywhere.

the flower, the borrowed books, the box, the photoframe, the zenneon, the jar, the many dried up bouquets, the perfume, the bookmark; just to name a few things right in front of me on my table.

i had a nice girly chat with wifey(like finally, in singapore) and she suggested me asking for a sign. lol. well, if mine were as positive as hers, i'd have asked for signs long ago. the positive responses would certainly make my day(:
wifey i cant wait till we meet to talk and talk and talk. missssyouuuuu(: and i'm glad i'm back.

hannah dearie gave me a pleasant surprise at the airport. omg i almost screamed when i saw her. i cant wait to meet up proper and then dinner with my 101006 girls. ah, finally, all 6 of us in singapore.

this holiday is gonna be a packed one.
i'd have to meet up with everyone, shop, tan, eat and study for supps.

i try hard to hope that i'll make it, but i know so very well how well i did, and i dont like this feeling. not at all.
i know i said that i might end up messing it up, but to know i'm so close to hearing it actually scares me.
cos it'd mean that i'd have to come back here for good.
AND I DONT WANT TO.

just clinging on so tightly, and hope it stays.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its 6.58, and PET IS BACK IN SINGAPORE and back from dinner.

loving the hot humid weather though it was rather suffocating the moment i stepped out of the airport:)

missing my loves back at currie- girlfriend, abi and gertrude and bladders! ah, i cant believe i miss them already:( whats gonna happen in the next few weeks:(

thanks to abi love for letting me put some stuff in yr room(because i have so much stuff i couldnt fit everything into the huge luggage, the shelf and the duffel bag). thanks girlfriend for helping me pack and waking up so early(with a hangover) just to say goodbye. and gertrude too for waking up to say goodbye and helping me bring my eticket over. bladders, for helping me carry my huge luggage to the storeroom, and then more up my shelf, and more down to uncle daniel's car.
THANKS GUYS:) i appreciate it alotalotalotalotalot.

it was 31 degrees when i touched down, and i dont know what temp it is now but i'm wearing as minimal as i dare to and its still warm. BUTILIKE:))))

my phone's gonna be activated in 45 mins and then i can start msg-ing everyone.
abi dearie! happy shopping with your mom please eat more ciaoitalia for me! and girlfriend! happy shopping at carousel please eat more baskins and chillis for me!

excitements.
i'm.finally.home.
all by His grace.
thank you Lord.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

this will officially be my last post in perth for now.

ah, the day was long. we went shopping then dimsum(which wasnt as good as expected but still okay) haha and then shopping again. i didnt get any clothes from harbourtown as usual- dont really like the range there and the sizes are wayyyyyy too big anyways. dotti at city and within 5 minutes i got a pair of pretty leather gloves, a handbag and shoes:) ah, goes to prove my point cityshopping is better than harbourtown; anyday, anytime.
the last time gf and i went to the city in 2 hours we got ALOT of stuff. but i've been to harbourtown for like 5 times now and each time i didnt really get anything much. i dont think i will even bother going there anymore from now on.

packed my room in 3hours, and feeling quite glad i did it quick. bummed around for awhile and after i bathe will head for grey's anatomy!

abi's only been gone for a day and i miss her like crazy already. miss going by her room when i go to the pantry, miss calling her to bitch about ahem and ahem and ahem, miss talking to her about people and people and people, miss going for brekky with her, miss bathing with her and miss knocking on her door when i get home each day:(
i will miss girlfriend and her hugs and going shopping with her. meeting for lunch and dinner and talking online:(
i will miss gertrude and all our laughter:(
i actually will miss irritating and bullying bladders:(
and i will miss my laupok room in currie simply because it already feels like a second home.

ah.......:(

BUT,
i wont give up going home for anything.
because i miss my girls like crap:)
ALL OF THEM.
and i miss mummy and daddy and grandma(both of them).
and i miss my auntie irene who loves me so much and my little mei.
and i miss the sun, the humid weather.
and i miss the food and the cheap drinks.
and i miss cheap taxis.
and i miss cheap fashion magazines.
and i miss my messy messy room and nice comfy bed.
and i miss facials and hydrospas.

:)

there's been alot of mixed feelings about it, but i've given it all to jesus:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i'm thoroughly exhausted.

packing is making me go nuts. i dont like this.
ice cream at baskins for the last time till i eat it again one month later. i had the devilish sundae all by myself. one big worldclasschocolate and strawberry cheesecake. ah, YUM.

girlfriend you have one more paper left! dont worry i'm sure all will be fine i have faith in you:)

oh, i've seen the picture. its weird how i notice the little things when i dont go searching for them. i see you've gotten new shoes. so, you threw out the shoes we bought together at zara didnt you? with everything else we once shared? i presume so. thats sad, because thats certainly one helluva cool pair of shoes, and i certainly wasnt the only one who praised them.
ohwell, if thats what you really want. maybe you taste for shoes changed drastically, thats why you throw away something you once liked so much. OH, but this isnt the first thing you're throwing away that you once liked alot too. hah.


ok pet, cannot be spiteful.
dont throw little girly tantrums.
girlfriend will tell you he's not worth it, and wifey will tell you no point.

ah, the sugar rush is getting to my head.
no good, no good.
we're going for cityyyy tmr and then maybe grab a movie together as THEALLIED HEALTHGROUP:) and esha has got vodka(lots of it i think) so we will celebrate and hopefully not get too tipsy because i have a flight to catch.

i'm coming home, guys.
and after this break, not till christmas.
its getting progressively longer, each time i stay here. the first time i came, i went back after 2 months. this time i'll be going back after 3 months. the next time i'll be going back after half a year. come next year, i'll be going back after one full year.
maybe its cos i'm getting used to being here, or maybe because i just dont desire to go back that badly anymore.

my girls here love me, and i love them.
mommy and daddy call almost everyday, and i'm growing so much.
best of all, here's somewhere we've never had memories in.

yeah.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY:)

funny how its fathers day and no one makes such a big hoo-haa about it the way they all do for mothers day.
anyway daddy, i just want to say i love you! though you wont ever read this, but occasions like these just make me treasure you more.

mom always says how she's so glad i got your good genes- to eat alot and not grow fat, and be tall and skinny. i wanted so bad to be fat i kinda wish i had some of mom's genes, but i am so much more thankful now that i'm here. lol.

i dont just look like you daddy, i'm your daughter in every way. we're both quiet people; we dont like to be over friendly to strangers, and then we're perceived as being arrogant. we're both stubborn; we never give in to what we think is wrong, and sometimes it results in conflict. we both have goals in life, we know what we want, and we're determined when we set our mind to it. it takes very long for us to build a friendship that we can trust in- we dont just do it with any other friendly guy. but when we believe in a relationship, we both sacrifice our all for it.

we're so similar in so many ways daddy, and it makes me proud when people point that out. because i feel so blessed to have you, i dont think i can find someone else who loves me more.

when we go out together, people comment they've never seen a father-daughter relationship this close even when i'm this grown up. and i know its because you constantly make an effort to build this relationship, make sacrifices for me, and always giving me the best.

i recall growing up, through those teenage years, where i was rude and argued alot. you always came to apologise at the end of the day; not because you were in the wrong, but because you shouted at me too. there was no pride in it; and it was a sacrificial act, because you wanted me to learn that saying sorry doesnt mean i have to be in the wrong.

i've learnt so much from you, and thank you for being the head of this family, for letting us grow as a family so healthily and in Christ. a complete family only comes when the father gives the mother love, because a sad mother cannot give her child the best.
you've given mommy the best love you could, thats why i have a happy mommy, and thats why i thank God for you.

i'm all grown up now, but i dont feel any different from the days you piggybacked me and called me your choochooloochoo girl. you still do occasionally, and i brush it off because "i'm too old for that"
but deep down i'm happy because i know i have a father who'd give the world for me and i'll always be his little princess in his eyes.

just like i am in my heavenly Father's eyes.
so i praise God for you, daddy.

i love you.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

mercy, please.

-

yesterday was pretty shitty.
i dont wanna talk about it.
exams are not over, and i realise i havent been blogging much.
there's alot i have to say to alot of people.
wifey, i miss u ALOT. i found out some stuff for you that i have to tell you and pretty much other stuff. have fun in malaysia with your parents-in-law who dont know you're their daughter-in-law. stuff's been happening ah i really got to talk to you:(
mei, i got yr msg and the one about the flowers that didnt make it through. thanks dear, your zeh appreciates it anyway:)

you(i realise i dont even know what to call you anymore)
-i'm sorry i didnt reply. was busy trying to start studying the day before exam and, believe it or not, this is worse than j1 promos. the difference is, j1 promos u can fail 2 subjects and be promoted. so yeah, you pretty much get the bleak situation. i've emailed the international office, and i wont continue if they choose to retain me.

if i get through this, i promise i wont make the same mistake again.

its mgc tmr, and then i'll be done.
heading down to iga for all the starbursts/minties/gum/chocs/cookies to bring home.
and then tue is last min shopping at harbourtown/city/wooly's for stuff to bring home. hopefully squeeze a movie in, some dimsum at joygarden, and yes, baskinrobbins before i fly home.
tue night i prob will have to stay up to pack my entire room clean and out into the storeroom, all while searching for my passport and locks. lol.
wed morning its brekky, then uncle daniel's sending amelea and i to the airport!
RIGHT BACK TO SUNNY SUNNY SINGAPORE.

its food first, then sun,sand and sea:)
ah, i need a good tan:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i know i dont deserve to pass today's paper.

i'm sorry God. i promise i wont do this again.

please please win back the lost battleground for me.
grant me favour, give me grace.
i really dont want to be kicked out or retained.

i'm sorry i didnt glorify You enough by studying. not even abit, not even at all. it shames me.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its not that i'm not worried anymore, and its not that i think i will do well. i just know that whatever the case, my God is in control and He has plans only to prosper me and not to harm me; plans to give me a hope and a future.

everyone around me has been so nice, and i wonder what i did to deserve such love. it just makes me treasure them more and more.
for all the hugs, all the love, all the words of encouragement, all the sms-es, all the phone calls, and all the prayers.
everyone in aussie and back home, pet appreciates all you guys have done:)

fob today went okay- meaning i can pass. seriously i was hoping so hard that dentine would come out, so that i can crap on dentinogenesis, mantle dentle, blah blah. i was hoping cementum, dentine, pdl, and saliva came out. but no, enamel had to come out. 12 marks and i had no idea what to write. i mean, it came out for mid sems, who'd be so silly to study it again?!?! and as far as i can remember he didnt even teach pulp, and there was this 10 mark question on histological section of pulp.
ARGH.

ohwell, i'm not going to worry about fob because there is still dtech where i am totally clueless.

i appear offline on msn so i wont end up chatting with people, but i end up going on friendster or facebook. i waste time, and then i blame myself. and then i worry myself, and then i cant sleep.

its 6 days more to sunny singapore, and now that its so near, it scares me. to face everything again, everything i'm running away from.
wifey i miss you i havent talked to you for like a week! boo:(

-

mommy and daddy, thanks for being so ever supporting, for believing in me and always letting me run back to you to cry. for always being my pillar of strength and always there to support me. i'm disappointed in myself and yet you still encourage me, edify me and pray for me.
i feel upset at myself that i cant even study in such a slack environment and do well for papers so much easier than what i ever got in jc. thanks for helping me to see things the right way, and believing in me.
i'm sorry if i made you both worry for me.
loveyoumommyanddaddy, i cant wait to be home where i'm so loved:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i'm so so so scared i will get kicked out of dent i'm hoping so hard i get at least 50/100.

yes, just let me pass please.

we're down to this stage arent we.
where all i want is to pass.
ah, when have i become such a loser.
BLAHHHHHHH.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

yes, i messed it up.
i walked out of the exam hall FIRST, i finished my paper an hour from the start of it because i didnt even have a clue to what half of them were asking. no point bullshit-ing and trying to crap through, i dont even know what the subject matter is about.
the last time i took a paper where i didnt know everything i was writing was in j1. and that didnt matter because all i needed was to pass 1 subject out of 4.

i've decided. if i fail this, i'm packing my bags, going home to start over at nus this aug intake.

maybe now you should be happy.
i've officially screwed up my first sem in aussieland.

whoever is reading this and know i screwed it up already PLEASE DONT COME AND ASK ME HOW FAHB WENT. i've heard enough people discussing the paper discussing the topics i dont need anymore.

ROAR GRAH ROAR GRAH BLAH BOOO ROAR.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

its like what, 10 degrees outside now? and i am in my room in tshirt and shorts with my fan on. HAH, the funny things stress does to you.

the reason i am here blogging is because i dont know so much for my bsd paper tmr at 9am i figured 15 mins spent blogging wont do much of a diff. i have 4 topics i have not even touched or read the lecture notes. about 8 topics left with tutorial undone. the remaining topics have their tuts done, but not understood much. so yes, tell me whats gonna happen tmr.

ah, and then fahb in the afternoon. still no clue about evolution.

ARGH.
ARGH.
ARGH.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

OMG.

i've found out who the flowers are from.
wth its damn weird la.
at least bladders threw them away for me.
because abi thinks its damn weird too. so do i.
EEEEEEEW.
its as if you've known me for like years but i dont even know you wth.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

i just finished fahb lab.

someone fly me home now PLEASE.
i cant take this.
not knowing more than 3/4 of the paper, seeing everyone complain because they're probably at risk of not having a HD.
i cant even be bothered to complain because, i dont even know what i dont know.

fly me home. NOW.
i want to run home to mommy and cry:(
i'm sorry mom and dad, i think i will have to disappoint you again this exam.


:(

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT.

my goodness, such a coward.
dont claim you want to be my bestfriend when you do such cowardly things.

extinguished, terminated. period.
(yes, p.e.t)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

not gonna upload all the photos due to lack of time, but here's some:)
my toblerone cheesecake. SMILE.
and with all the cheap wine, we get tipsy. lol. and do silly things.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

shit you cramps, go away.
i dont need cramps right now.
i need to study.


i've seen my timetable for the 10th time today, i think.
fahb and bsd are together on the same day and i have fob the very next day. i'm very well gonna have to run on adrenaline next week. and then straight after fob i have dtech one day later. well, i get a day off, but its dtech; and there isnt really enough time to rest and go again. its a dash from day1.

and then i also find out the meds have a day in between every paper, aside from the fact they have less papers than us. i complained to joo and she goes, " dont bother comparing cos in yr 3 you'll see them having 3 papers a sem and us 12 papers a sem"

so basically, i feel like crap now.
i only just printed out all my bsd notes yesterday and am trying to rush through all my bsd tutorials. start reading through fahb- evolution and embryology because i havent even finished watching the lectopia. too many lectures missed, no time to catch up. all while lacking sleep and having cramps.

thanks to brendon who was nice enough to teach me one topic on bsd- though i prob have 9 more to go or smth.
thanks to abi dearie who so very nicely came to my room to give me moral support and girlfriend for her endless hugs(i love hugs) and song-sending:)

i havent even finished making fahb notes, and i havent even finished reading bsd notes. fob is the very next day and i barely touched fob. there's still salivary glands, gingiva, cementum and the biggest of the lot- primary dentition.

need more time, need more energy, need more motivation.
cannot, screw this up.
its like thowing 20K down the drain for this sem. with expenses in, prob 25K.

-

i know people are praying hard for me back home, and i know by His grace i'll make it right.
His grace is sufficient for me.
and it wont be me, it'll be for Your glory.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

someone get me out of my emo ride.

-






yay drew my gf is coming home from the ulu place today:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

thanks guys, for the second surprise last night:)

photos will be up soon soon enough, and so will the video of us being nuts.

-

my emo trip last night- not good at all.
and half of it was due to all the alcohol.

i'll get over it, for everyone who loves me.
wifey i cant believe i called you in the middle of the night and utterred nonsense. HAHA. i love you girl i cant wait to see you:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

it was a sleepless night last night.
therefore i went to bed straight after lunch and slept. and slept and slept and slept till i heard repeated pounding on the door. after 10 minutes of non stop pounding, i opened it and saw the delivery man with a parcel, a balloon attached to it, and a pretty bouquet of yellow geberras, daisies, roses and lilies.

and because it was so sweet and girly, i knew it had to be from daddy and mommy. the delivery guy warned me that i had to keep the bouquet upright because of all the water in it; so i had no choice but to stuff it in my dustbin(yes, u read it correct. but i layered it with a clean plastic bag first la)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

Keeper of my heart,
wont You just mend it,
piece it back,
so i can lay it full at the foot of the Cross.
and tell You,

i surrender my all.

-

it was a sleepless night.
i couldnt stop thinking about things.

i'm at high risk now of being kicked out.
higher risk than not being promoted for j1. and considering i just scraped through then, this is bad.

fahb- barely started.
mgc- not started.
bsd- dont even know the topics in the exam. havent touched since forever.
fob- barely started.
dtech- dont even have notes, dont even know the topics, dont understand anything.

now you understand.
wait, you dont. you never did, never will.
maybe i should stop hoping.

sleepless nights, wrong or right goodbye.
its mid study break, i'm still slacking around and bumming around.
danm it, damn you.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

as of today, its gonna be 2 WHOLE WEEKS where i

1. mug.
2. sleep
3. mug
4. sleep
5. sit for paper
6. mug
7. sit for paper
8. mug

till i finish all my papers and then its gonna be home sweet home.

even if its just for the sake of the sun, i'm going home man.
i miss wearing shorts and tiny tees.

oh please let me know should you want havis/starburst/nougat/chocs/timtams/minties/whatever not.

-

i'm trying so so hard to put it behind.
maybe going home wouldnt be so bad after all.
there'd always be alcohol wouldnt there.
:) DRINKS WITH ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS. lol you guys can take turns to celebrate depression with me. ah i cant wait:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

WIFEY!

you totally rock lah.
those 2-3 hours were worth it man, though i didnt get to do work and somebody KEPT insisting NON STOP that i call her though my phone card died because if i didnt call her she "would die". right dearie, test my love for you. LOL.

petandcheryl are going on a chopping spree. down south. to chop, grind, step, nail, hammer, and lastly, shred. all of which were suggested by my dear wifey.
AH WE TOTALLY ROCK RIGHT! poor p.e and c.e. LOL.

YES I CANT WAIT TO GO HOME AND WE CAN BE REUNITED:) pet says, long distance relationships are no good. grin:)
can we please not go to spain dearie? i dont mind going to london if person 27000 will sponsor me; but till then, lets stick with spa-ing and tanning and bumming at some resort in bintan. wait till we get rich one day we can have our 3628509th honeymoon in spain and we can get all the cheap zara clothes we want:)

i'm sorry dearie its exams and i cant talk to you all the time. but eh, i give you the most time already you better be touched okay!
:)

-

someone tell me why i suck at disciplining myself.
:(

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

yesterday was spent all on church. it was tea session in church before combined cell at night. ah, i love nedlands:) the game we played where the girls lost(not because the guys were better with direction sense but because we didnt try to distract them but they kept distracting us) and thus, the body of the girl which was sadly all gone wrong. and yes, thats the orientation in which we stuck it on the wall. lol.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

dont want to listen to love songs.
i want happy songs that made me smile, laugh and do stupid dances:)

like our cmib dance we did in the car from rachel's house all the way to broadway pizza and back.

yes believe in our cmib band, because we're gonna make it big.
and we'll shut you out of our jamming sessions, because, believe me, you'll thank us for it. lol.
attendance is only by invitation, for the privileged few. YESYES:)

its your god-forsaken right to be love love loved. HAHA i love my nedlands people i'm so gonna miss you when i'm in singapore you guys make me laugh and have so much fun.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

woke up this morning to a msg from wifey which made me quite affected.

dearie,
it makes me upset to see you upset and hurting.
people like that deserve to be shot.
i've come to the conclusion: i dont understand guys. dont understand the way they think and function.
i hate the way they're hurting the people i love, and i hate it more each time my gfs get more hurt.

we'll shit the asses together okay dearie.
we'll make it through.
and i'll be here for you.
wipe away those tears and i dont want to see puffy eyes when i come home!
you deserve so much better:)

we'll have ariel soon and and she'll cheer you up ok! children are the joy of the parents LOL.
and i will continue saying stupid stuff so you will smile okay:)
anything for my wifey man.
I LOVE YOU!

20th20th we'll meet on the 20th together with the 27000 person okay!!!
GRIN:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

Happy 20th my dearest!
you're greatly missed!

wait for me i'll be back soon, love!

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.

pet and ophee shopped themselves silly this morning. i skipped lecture to shop:)
we bought so many things we couldnt carry all back. and on the way back we met brendon! who very nicely cycled our shopping bags back for us:)

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.