i thought i knew better.
its not my game to play.

i dont know why it took me so long to realise.
now, i pull out.

i've wasted so much time and energy trying to figure it out,
and i've finally did.
somehow its so simple.
i cant settle for anything else, because simply, the standard has been set.

whether you believe it or not.
we once held to, what we once both promised.
i'm saying it now, saying it here-i still hold true to it.
no one will be able to make me open the door the way you did.
like you said, open if you knock.

somehow today someone managed to help me get the song we both loved so much. because i left that silly song on my com at home.
i dont know why listening to it brought back so many emotions, but it did.

hands down this is the best day,
i cant ever remember,
i'll always remember.
the sound of the stereo the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers,
and the time on the clock when we realised its so late,
and this walk that we shared together.
and the streets were wet,
and the gate was locked and i jumped it,
and let you in.
and you stood at the door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
and i know,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.
and i know, that you meant it,
that you meant it.

its over and done, but i know for sure i meant it.

-

its totally not the place to glean some kind of insight from, but watching grey's today, it totally stuck me.
its not what went wrong, who went wrong or how much things have changed and drifted apart. its the fact that they have shared 11 years of birthdays, friendships, anniversaries, and memories.
because like its said in the show, when its the love of your life, its the love of your life.

talking to wifey about it all, i'm so glad we have each other.

you've set the standards, it will be difficult to break. maybe thats why wifey and i get annoyed with the little things unfulfilled now. maybe thats why we feel so useless because we're left to fend for ourselves in ways we've never imagined.

we've moved on, because we grew.
but moving on doesnt mean changing our ideals.
it just means growing up, letting go, and letting God.

after one whole big round, i've realised.
no one can satisfy but Him,
and i'm certainly not prepared to let anyone fight against my standard.

exhausted.
from all the things i've tried to do to accommodate the things happening around me,
from trying to think and sleep and think and sleep and worry all at the same time.
from trying to bring people in, and shut people out.

i miss you, because you're one of the bestest friends i've ever had.
its something special, that once shared.


-
my tiny sad feeling.
i miss you. my winter melon trunk.

i wish you were here for me now.
to be the bestfriend and to share in every part i'm going through.
you.are.missed.




pewpewpew.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.