the day is pretty much wasted again.

dinner was good. lagsane and garlic bread and fruit.
i came up in hopes of studying for tmr's test.

but you know how it is, when your mind's too preoccupied, you cant study. you cant even think.
i spent like 3 hours talking online to alot of people.

dearie, i guess i'm glad i had a chance to tell you how i feel. though i dont know if i got my point across well enough, but i hope things will get better. i dont want it to be like you said- circumstances brought us close together and then apart again. i wish things were different. i dont know what to do about it now. i find that we dont understand each other anymore. sigh.

-

bladders came up all the way from the dining hall to catch a spider in my room for me. because abi and gertrude were too short to catch it:) haha. they think i'm nuts because the spider is so small.

and then while showering i suddenly spotted this tiny cockroach on the toilet wall. i decided to hurry up with my shower and then get out of the tiny toilet. but, halfway through it started flying around at me. i screamed and screamed then did the silliest thing ever:

i wrapped myself in my towel, grabbed my clothes and toiletries basket and ran out screaming for gertrude and abi. they started laughing at me then running in to help me catch the damn insect. i was so scared i forgot about standing there dripping wet and looking oh-so-wrong. but yes, story ends with abi catching the damn insect and me continuing my bath.
AH ABI U'RE MY HERO. or heroine, in this case. lol.

and then i decided to finish off my wax strips but i was too lazy so i only waxed one leg. and its not even a full leg. just knee down. trust me, it looks really weird. lol.
i havesmall strips of wax left and gertrude and i decided they will go onto bladders' leg later.
COOLNESS, i havent seen a guy being waxed.

-

we just had pizza again and i'm feeling so upset in a bo-chup way i've decided i cant be bothered to study anymore for the day. not that i did much anyway.

so yes, there's this huge feeling i will mess it up.
but you know when u've lost what really mattered, you dont care that much anymore.

NO YOU DONT.
i know you'll be disappointed i'm not studying or doing to my potential. well, too bad for you then.
seriously, TOO BAD.
just like it is for me to have lost it. what can i say? what can they say to me? too bad.
no its not "that jerk doesnt deserve you" but its too bad.
cos at the end of the day, the blame game doesnt get you anywhere does it.
i've lost it, thats a fact. it doesnt really matter how i lost it or who was right.
so what if i played fair and square and right, I STILL LOST.
so yes, TOO BAD.

i'm sorry i had to learn it the hard way.
its the spiteful streak in me taking root.
dont worry, you know that i say all these in the fit of a moment.
because you know, deep down, i dont hate you. not even abit, not even at all.

i've seen my girlfriends hurt, i know.
when everything's meant to be broken, you bleed just knowing you're alive.

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.