its only been a week and a half, or less since we decided. then how come it feels like its been a month?

i felt like i have gone through every emotional feeling possible- the dread, the depression, the anticipation, the preparation, and the list goes on.

i have even made my list of things-to-bring(i dont know if its too early or i'm just paranoid), thought through what kinda of extra clothes etc i need to get, my shoes my books etc.

and halfway through it i'd be like,

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU?-

to myself.

i either drive myself crazy, or i drive my mom crazy. lol.

a typical night after dinner goes like this now- i walk out of my room. i look at mom. i sigh. and she smiles and ask whats wrong. i sigh and go into my room. she smiles at the fact i am so affected and shares her thoughts. and we talk for more than an hour. and then what? i sigh again. and sigh till daddy comes home(if he hasnt already come home, that is.) and then daddy asks me what is bothering me, and i sigh. and it actually becomes quite hilarious. then i laugh. but then after the moment fades away, I SIGH AGAIN.

sounds quite silly, but thats what happens.

maybe i'd be happier mugging for tests like everyone is now. even mei is stressed up over assignments.

AND JOYCE, I AM NOT HAVING FUN LA I AM STUCK HERE COS THE WHOLE WORLD HAS TESTS. it called self inflicted misery haha.



and then i go into the endless routine of searching within, only to surface and find You being there all the while. i was just too busy searching to notice. and now i say, sorry.

somehow i wish you understood. but you, your species, you're all the same after all. arent you?

♥ fancy pink
in vintage.